He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
