is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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