the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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