I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
