I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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