I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
