I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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