i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
