and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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