I'm gonna have a badass scar
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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