I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
