Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
