i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
