I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
