You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
