he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
