I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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