Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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