Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
