You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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