does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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