Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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