In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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