So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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