shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
