shes about as inviting as chlamydia
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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