i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
