Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
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