First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
