Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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