If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we're making bets on your personal life
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
