Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
