Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
