Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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