My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize