I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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