FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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