I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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