It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
