Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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