I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
