Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship