i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.