If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.