It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.