The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.