3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.