No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell