He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..