You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
