Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
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on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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