About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
