doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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