TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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