every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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