What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
