is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
