i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
