3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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