I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
