Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
a search helicopter?!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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