alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
