i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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