Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
