Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
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Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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