Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
