I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
