That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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