Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
