bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize