i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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