my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
handjob tips. give me some.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
