You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
